Grief Changed me Forever

I didn’t want a new version of myself, but that’s exactly what happened.

You can’t go through trauma and return to your old self. I felt like the universe was pushing me — sometimes it felt more like a shove. The new me was emerging whether I liked it or not.

What really helped was reflecting on my past experiences. Looking back at everything I had already lived through, and how each experience changed me, made it easier to surrender to this shift.

What I knew for certain was this: I did not want to be pitied. I had lost a child, but I did not want to be pitied because I lost a child. I just wanted to be respected. I think I received a little bit of both.

Some people are better at this than others. We are not taught what to say or do except to offer our sympathies. But what does that really mean?

For me, it means offering space. Giving a person room to find their way through whatever trauma they have experienced, while simply staying present for them to lean on if they need it.

Shortly after my son died, I was working in my hair salon when a client walked in. She looked at me and said, “I don’t know how you are doing this,” while crying her eyes out.

I don’t recommend this.

It put me in the position of having to be stronger than I already was in order to support her. She was not offering me space or support — only pity.

I never held it against her. I saw it as the best she was able to do. But it was also an experience I will never forget. It taught me what I didn’t want to become. I never want to place that emotional burden on someone else.

So in a way, it became a great teacher. It taught me resilience.

The perspective we give every story changes the story.

What I learned through grief eventually became part of my purpose. Today, I hold space for others navigating loss through my grief coaching practice.

Reach out if you feel called to connect.

Xo, Camille ✨